Retaining Balance in the Midst of Difficult Challenges
Margaret Schenkman, August 18, 2021
One of the Principles that spoke to me most deeply from early in my spiritual journey is Principle 5: ‘Always be truthful, accept miseries as coming from God for your own good and be thankful’. Perhaps the reason for my attraction to this particular Principle lies in the way that I came to Heartfulness meditation. I had been struggling with a very painful and debilitating condition for a few years before finding this meditation practice. I understood that I had two choices: To succumb to my physical condition or to find some way to function despite it. At that time, I spent about 16 hours out of every 24 supine. Fortunately, a lot of my work involved writing and reading and I was able to do much of it lying down. For many years, by the end of the day, I ate lying down because it was too painful to be upright.
I finally turned to meditation, not for spiritual reasons, but to find some relief from the pain. Within a few short years it because very clear to me that, while I had surely found some physical relief, I had found much more. I had found a way of life, a way of being, and a promise for a future that I hadn’t even begun to dream about. Without that challenging condition, it is likely I would have continued on a path of materiality.
From my vantage point of many years on this spiritual journey, I have developed an appreciation for the deep meaning of this Principle, as well as some words to begin to express what I have learned. First, this Principle comes directly from the Principle in the last blog to ‘Live Simply and Identical With Nature’; the first part of the Principle – ‘Always be Truthful’ – directs one to stay in tune with the finest of vibrations so as to know what is real and then directs one to stay in tune with that reality. This sets up the reason for the second part of the principle, to ‘.. accept miseries as coming from God for your own good.’ If one is in tune with the reality that transcends likes and dislikes, wants and desires, one can begin to develop a different perspective about miseries. And as one begins to appreciate miseries from that different perspective, the last statement ‘and be thankful’ can become a reality.
Truly a life of pain and difficulty was not the life that I would have chosen; for many years after I began to meditate, life seemed like one large misery. But as time passed, and with the deepening of this spiritual journey, it became more and more clear what a blessing this physical condition was for me. Indeed, I began to realize that there was a third choice in terms of coping with my situation and that was to embrace it with some sort of joy. It took me about 15 years to develop this understanding of ‘miseries’. I still deal with this physical circumstance on a daily basis, though often it is much in abeyance. But now I truly live with it as a gift for my good. Had I not had this condition, I suspect I would have lived a very different life. Maybe I would have married and had children, as was my dream and desire; perhaps I would have had greater professional success. However, judging by the inner pain that besets most of my family, friends, and colleagues, I doubt that I would have had the joy of an inner certainty about my place and purpose in the world.
Over the last 25 years, I have had many opportunities to see the gift behind the miseries that come my way. Each time one comes along, I grasp the message a little faster and recognize the gift a little sooner. I recall one incident in particular that occurred a few years after I had begun the meditation practice. I had expressed some doubts to a Heartfulness trainer who told me that he too had had doubts when he first began this practice. One of his friends suggested that he ‘test Chariji’, who was the spiritual guide at that time. So he made the thought that he would receive a ‘first place’ at the end of the year in his school in India. He explained that he was not a good student, so this would, indeed, be a ‘miracle’. And low and behold, that year he did receive a first. (The following year he suggested to his friend that he should again ask for a ‘first’ but the friend said ‘No – you can only test Chariji once’). So this trainer said to me ‘Why don’t you test Chariji’. I remember replying that really there was nothing that I wanted from him. But as I said that, a fleeting thought passed through my mind that really if only a certain colleague would leave our work place …. Now this particular colleague had made a point of making my life exceptionally difficult and painful. She was truly out to destroy me professionally. And as soon as I had that thought, I knew inside that she would leave – this despite the fact that she had been in the same work place for many years (perhaps 17). I knew intuitively that I had made a thought and it would be realized and that I had just given away an important gift. Indeed, within six months, she took a different job in another state.
I learned another lesson from that situation. For a time, I thought that I might leave the job and go elsewhere, but I understood that if I ran away, the same miseries would follow me. Rather, I decided to stay until I no longer cared that I was not valued, that my work wasn’t appreciated, and that there were road blocks wherever I turned. I stayed at that job until I no longer cared what others might think of me. And in so doing, I overcame to some degree a need for acceptance and approval outside of my own ‘inner self’. When, finally, I did leave that job, I took one which has been a positive and fulfilling experience.
This particular story had a ‘comfortable’ ending, though not all do. For I have learned another lesson on this spiritual journey, which is that serious meditation doesn’t assure health, wealth, comfort in work or any other physical ‘success’. The outcome is dictated by my inner needs for development and by the impressions that I have accumulated over time.
Every once in a while, in my meditation or in my diary, I have the thought ‘Bring it on. I am ready for whatever (miseries) come my way’. And every time, some new misery is there for me to contend with. Sometimes, I rail against it for a while. (They always catch me by surprise). But in the end, I do truly know that they are necessary gifts – necessary for my growth and evolution. I have learned that unless faced with the ‘difficult’, I will remain in the ‘comfortable’, never knowing that the so-called comfort is nothing compared to the comfort and unspeakable joy of becoming ever closer to my deepest, natural self.